Bridezillas: Myth or Reality

It turns out that weddings are a booming business. Especially for those in reality TV production. I have plenty of clients who refer to David Tutera and Kleinfeld's within the first 10 minutes of our consultation. I never actually paid much attention to these shows because they don't really showcase all the magic of a wedding to me. And other shows sensationalize the not-so-great parts of a wedding. Sure, that's awesome for ratings because folks love a little drama, they love to see a girl fly off her handle, demanding the best of the best, having unrealistic expectations and then coin her bridezilla.

Wikictionary defines it as such:

bridezilla (plural bridezillas)

1. (usually humorous) A woman who, in the course of planning her wedding, exercises or attempts to exercise a high degree of control over all or many minor details of the ceremony and reception.

And exactly what may I ask is wrong with someone who wants to control all of the details?

We live in a society that expects perfection. The perfect job. The perfect house. The perfect body. The perfect clothes. The perfect spouse. The perfect relationship. The list goes on and on and on.

Now of course, daughter of the Life Coach, I know perfection doesn't exist.

Even Mary Poppins knows it. 

And as a planner of 6 years, I tell every. single. one. of. my. brides. that it won't go perfectly.

BUT we will put a team of professionals together that will create the best day for you no matter the circumstances.

AND that something little may happen that you can't control, your mom can't control, the venue can't control and that the planner can't control, etc, etc, etc

BUT this dream team will do their best, I will do my best, to make sure it gets taken care of.

Let go of the idea of perfect. 

Once you do that, things will seem way easier.

And not everyone understands this.

And not everyone operates under this idea.

And not everyone understands what it is like to plan a wedding.

You have one day.

One shot. One opportunity. (thank you Eminem)

to create and execute something you have imagined for a long time.

Something that defines your relationship with the person you are marrying.

Something that will entertain your guests.

Something that is breathtaking and beautiful.

Something that will be a night to remember.

That you can look back on with no regrets.

That is A LOT of pressure.

These girls have nightmares about it.

They have opinions being thrown at them from every direction.

They have a budget- and the majority of the time- its hard to stick to and still get everything you want.

They have moms that want it a certain way.

And mommy in laws that want it a certain way.

They have a groom that wants to elope.

They have dads that don't think the groom is good enough.

And bridesmaids who are jealous that they aren't getting married first.

And cousins who are mad they aren't bridesmaids.

And venues that only allow set up 3 hours before show time.

I could keep going....

Oh and by the way, they also have full time jobs- some with multiple jobs.

And kids.

And volunteer.

And take care of their elderly family members.

Oh and did I mention taking care of yourself because you have a gorgeous dress.

You want to look your best.

And you need your sleep while still tracking those hours for work, and making it to the gym at 5am and helping the kids with the homework and keeping up with the laundry or even having a social life.

And there are only 24 hours in a day.

You see, I understand that it is a lot.

Which is why I am in business.

My clients understand the need for someone to help them keep it organized, to stay on track, to offer suggestions, advice, to listen, and to be there every step of the way, especially for those just-in-case moments.

But not everyone works with me. Or is me. Or understands the pressures and struggles of planning while still being a good mom, a daughter, a boss, a co-worker, a partner...

We are human. And it's normal to get a little anxious with all the added stress.

So yes, you may snap when you didn't mean to.

And you may cry because you want everyone to be happy.

And you may say things that aren't true.

I understand that.

And so should, in my opinion, anyone who chooses to work in the wedding industry.

We know what the pressures are, what our clients are trying to manage.

And we certainly shouldn't judge you for a few slips.

And we won't take it personally. 

Because we are professionals who know that this is normal.

That you are dealing with a lot.

And you will NEVER catch me calling my brides a Bridezilla.

In fact, when folks find out I am a planner, or ask about my business, they 9 times of of 10 say: any bridezillas? 

No way jose, because they do not exist in my world.

Only girls who want their day to be magical. 

To live up to their expectations, and their parents' and his parents' and the bridal party and the guests... 

Moral of the story:

Brideszillas are myth. Because we are human.

Just a little wedding cake for thought:

If you are a wedding professional, be that calm, collected individual who offers a shoulder perhaps.

Who lends some kind advice such as: you look amazing, your girls will look amazing and we can find something in your budget.

If you are a family member, friend, co-worker of a bride, don't take any of it personally; she really doesn't mean it and she certainly doesn't hate you.

And if you are the bride, take a deep breath pumpkin, recognize that it won't be perfect, but in the end you are marrying your best friend. 

And if that still doesn't work, call me, I am a great wedding planner and I happy to help!

XOXOXOOXOXO

Reflections on Joy

What brings you joy?
They say life is short, I think we can all agree with that.
So why spend your life stressed, unhappy or in a place, job or relationship that is less than fulfilling; that doesn't bring you true joy? And have you found your joy?

What fills you up?
I have spent the last few years pondering this question.

Journaling almost daily, having an attitude of gratitude (thank you Oprah), reciting affirmations and studying countless courses and books on self discovery.

And here is what I have found... only when I finally slowed down to really sit and think about it, it turned out it was way simpler than I thought.

It wasn't money. Although that does make things a wee bit easier and it allows you distraction from these simple, yet challenging questions.

It wasn't getting a promotion or working the extra hour, extra day, extra weekend.

It wasn't having the perfect body.

It wasn't having the newest, latest and greatest fashions. Although looking good is feeling good.

It wasn't and certainly isn't winning awards and being recognized by my peers. Although that feels pretty spectacular.

And it wasn't being in a relationship.

It was waaaaaayyyyyy easier than that.

It is rolling on the floor with my dogs.

Scratching their bellies while their tongues dangle outside their mouths.

Legs kicking the air.

It is holding a baby and watching him sleep soundly.

Patting his bottom.

Rocking back and forth.

Imagining all the little dreams he is dreaming. 

It is going for a walk, breathing in the chilly winter air as I listen to my feet crunch through the snow.

It clears my head and heart.

The stillness is so incredibly calming.

And so full of possibility. 

It is seeing the sunrise as the world awakens.

It is listening to my dad tell the silliest of jokes while my mom gives him a look of disapproval.

I love this the most. 

It is enjoying a cup of coffee and people watching. 

It is getting REAL mail in my mail box... bills do not count.

It is laughing so hard I cry.

It is catching up with an old friend.

At a baseball game.

The crowd. The energy. It's magnetic.

And the beers aren't bad either...

It is wrapping a gift in the prettiest of papers with the biggest of bows and watching someone open it.

I love giving gifts.

It is spending time with my sisters as they try to outwit each other in a game of Apples to Apples.

It is watching two people fall in love.

It is seeing someone gain their confidence.

To finally see the beauty in themselves.

The beauty that you already knew they had.

It is baking a pie.

From scratch.

All by myself

.... or with the supervision of a really good cook.

Thanks Dave. 

Birthday parties.

Giving back.

Bundling up in the freezing cold to go to a Bears game with my college buds.

A little kid's laugh.

It's meeting new friends. It's connection.

It's becoming more and more like my best friend, my role model and my mom.

It's being a part of one of life's most beautiful and most intimate events.

It's climbing into my own bed

in my own house every night

and realizing that I love the life I have created.

It's waking up each day with a clean slate.

With direction and purpose.

With enthusiasm and love.

With gratitude for my life, my family, my friends. 

That's what brings me joy.

That's what fills my heart. 

xoxoxoxooxoxoox

Post Valentine's Day Sentiments

It's no big shocker that I love Valentine's day and all things love... in fact I love LOVE all year round 365 days a year. I think about it morning, noon and night. I pin it, I quote it, I post it, I cover it in glitter and hang it on my wall, I put it in envelopes and send it in the mail. I want everyone to feel my love every day. But most especially on Valentine's Day!

Making homemade valentine's!

coming to a mailbox near you

Yesterday, the news feeds were full of flower and v day deliveries, engagements, well wishes for a happy Valentine's Day. I loved every part of it!

And then there were others announcing that they didn't need a special day to say I love you. That's awesome. You and me both. I will shout it from the roof tops every day.

A really awesome guy and friend of mine Gebbs posted this and I thought- yes, he has the right idea too. So kudos to those who spread the love everyday like us!

But not all of us are like that. Some of us need that special day. Like Thanksgiving we give thanks and gratitude and show that with family gatherings full of turkey, pumpkin pie and football. Grand tradition might I add. And then there's Fourth of July, we celebrate our freedom once a year with fireworks and barbeques. It's all about honoring and traditions and we could talk about every holiday. Sure we should be grateful for our lives, friends, family and freedom every day... but do we? Do we record it in a gratitude journal, pray about it at church or do we go about our daily lives until its time to plan the menu and send out the invitations?

I really loved what my friend Cherie, President of Wedding Network USA said about V day. What I love even more is that fact that I just screen shot it and uploaded to share. Technology can be fun!

Not everyone was all about celebrating love all year round. Some were just flat out snarky about their co-workers receiving big bouquets of flowers. Who cares if someone is in a new relationship and wants to shower their honey. It doesn't mean anything about you. There is no need to rain on anyone's parade. It doesn't make you a bad person because you didn't do the same for your honey. You should be happy that your co-worker found someone that loves and adores them and wants to do nice things for them.

Already hanging on my wall!

Or the single folks who complain that it's singles awareness day. Honestly, I am the epitome of a single girl. I am always single on valentine's day. Like the last 10 years. No joke. I have a history of short romances none of which have actually fallen on v day. Except one. And he worked at a florist. I loved that v day. HEEEELLLLLOOOOO flowers!

Evie, my funny valentine

But seriously why do you have to make being single on valentine's day a bad thing? Why not go out with your single friends and have a good time? Why are we complaining and making this a day to be sad? So you aren't in a relationship on this particular day, but I bet there are several people out there that you love and that love you and you sure can share that with them. In fact, I claimed a 3 year old as my valentine and I am proud of it!!!

 Ash and Evie- click here to see how cheesy, adorable and fun we are!

But, I can't control what people post, or their opinions or what they are feeling on the inside. All I can do is spread the love... and share a few of my favorite things (insert Kenny Rogers singing because I heart him too) from yesterday. These things make me soooooo happy and I love to see other people sooooo happy so I hope you all enjoy them as much as I did.

Favorite Photo: Brad was classmate of mine growing up who returned from a 7 month deployment. Totally reminds me of Alfred Eisenstadt's Kissing the War Goodbye. I did not ask permission to share this either so I hope they don't mind me bragging about them. I love how chic she is in her big hat, polished nailed and pearl earrings and that he is in uniform and gosh, you can almost feel how strong and tight that embrace is can't you? I bet this was followed by several hundred more kisses. xooxox 

Favorite Engagement: I am bias as I know them personally, but at least I am admitting it.

Congrats Liz and Nick!

I know a great wedding planner :) 

Favorite Valentine: (don't tell Evie) goes to a dear dear friend of mine from college, Jacqui!

Check this out- a singing telegram that her beau Josh sent to her work.

I gotta know, does Josh have a brother??? 

However you spent February 14th, I hope it was magical and that you woke up today full of joy and love. 

And I hope you continue to wake up every day with that same joy and love. 

And if you don't, I am happy to assist by sending you that joy and love! 

xoxoxoxo

The Few. The Proud. The Gung Ho Groom.

I am a constant chatterbox about my brides and how much I love them. How I love working with them and creating the wedding that they have imagined. Bringing it all together piece by piece, detail by detail, month by month until it's day by day and then hour by hour. I take on their goosebumpy "that's-the-perfect-song" moment, their nightmares of being late, the dress not fitting, going to the wrong venue, the colors being wrong (they all get them), the excitement of marrying their best friend, the stress of keeping everyone happy, overcoming the last minute changes and challenges... I heart it all. And I heart being a part of it. And I heart that bond that we build from day one that lasts until well after the wedding is over. From house warmings, to happy hours, to baby showers, I cherish them all.

Left- Allison Martin, married June 2013
Right- Alison Shubert, married December 2012

But let us not forget my beloved grooms.

Ashley and Eric Anderson, married June 2013

In 10 plus years of event planning and six specializing in weddings, I've had two grooms- two total- that were: go big or go home for their weddings. It's a must talk about since these fellas are few and far between and it's impossible not to adore them.

Whatever she (the bride) wants. Chair covers, huge floral arrangements, candelabras, a video screening, lots and lots of pink, a Hawiian honeymoon.

Shelby: My colors are blush and bashful
M'Lynn: Her colors are pink and pink

And boy oh boy did she love it.
Gina that is. JR was my numero uno gung ho groom and he will forever hold a special place in my heart. In fact when I said he did all the planning, I mean, he did it all. I didn't even meet his other half until the wedding day. And he couldn't wait for her to arrive, be the princess bride, experience this wedding she dreamed of, and be totally surprised.

Best.Husband.Ever.

And my numero dos in the gung ho groom department is John. I have to share this story because it brings me so much joy. So much joy that I have to brag.
At our first meeting last fall, I ask John and the love of his life to tell me about what they are envisioning for their big day. And here is what John announces:

"The theme is Rat Pack. Uplighting. Purple for sure. Come January 1st, all the groomsmen are going on diets because I'm going to look hot and they are going to look hot. Whatever Kari wants. She's going to be so beautiful and I'm so excited to spend my whole life with her. And we need you there to make sure we are doing it right because I've waited 13 years for this day and I want it perfect."

John if you weren't engaged, I would propose to you.

Because you get it. 

And damn it, I love how much you love this sweet girl with the long blonde hair, the most contagious giggle who looks at you with those big blue eyes and replies to that entire prelude with:

"John, whatever you want."

Thanks for letting me brag on you both.
So looking forward to your wedding
and every moment in between.

BOOM! And that's what it's all-a-bout!
I just did the hokey pokey people. No joke. And I turned myself around. Leg up and clapped.
You're welcome for the visual.
Of the hokey, not Kari and John, they are too cute.

And yes John, you do have a job with Signed Sealed Delivered Events as a planner after your wedding.

As per usual, Ms. Manion and my BFF Katie, if you are reading this, please forgive the run-on's, fragments, mis-puncuations, grammar mistakes, etc. I claim it as part of my charm, contrary to popular belief, it's not to annoy you... or is it???

xoxxoxooxoxooxxxoxooxooxoxoox

Dreams Do Come True

A few of my closest know that I am a huge fan of Mary Poppins and that the word "magical" is in my hourly vocabulary. So for me to title this post like a Disney movie is not as cliche as it may seem. Perhaps it is because you don't know me well enough... I suggest sticking around and checking out my other posts too and you will come to know me quite quickly. And if you still like me after that, send me a friend request so we can connect. You can never have too many friends. :)
This year has been an absolute whirlwind of magnificent opportunities and challenges on top of meeting some of the greatest folks in the wedding industry. At times I feel as though I am spoiled rotten.

Courtney and Maggie from 2 Chics and a Photobooth.
These BFF's, co-owners and work colleagues will easily win your heart over as they do with everyone they meet.
The are the sweetest, most genuine and fun broads! What a blessing!

The Fabulous Dorini Ottolini with Allegro Entertainment. I met Dori at Association of Bridal Consultants and we have been attached at the hip since then.
I joined in April this year and it's been one of the best networking groups I have ever been a part of.
The group is super supportive, professional and they have all become family.

And then I remember, it wasn't always so magical or magnificent and that I made a decision to create this life, that I determine how magical and magnificent it is going to be.
Last summer I remember working at the hotel and of course LOVING wedding season because it's my thing. But as the summer months rolled into fall, it got busier and more and more changes happened and something felt as though it was missing.
I would be lying if I didn't mention (because withholding info is the same as lying) that I actually talked to a tarot card reader, studied my horoscope daily and spent hours reading self development books, blogs, motivational websites, you name it, on how to trust the process, rest in trust and live your best life. Plus you know my mommy and BFF is a life coach Owl Nest Coaching so I had someone who could listen and clear out the crazy, over emotional stuff that always comes with big life choices.

Me and Ma- she's pretty much the world's greatest
I once even made her a CD of training songs called the world's greatest
I know, best gift giver ever right???

I made the decision to start my own business so I could spend all my waking hours (and sleeping hours) working on my most favorite things: weddings and love!!!  Clearly this was my something missing...

About this time I was nominated by my peers as one of the top 5 wedding planners in St. Louis at the Perfect Wedding Guide's Vendor's Choice Awards. I was on cloud nine as I went to the awards banquet in November of 2012. I certainly hadn't expected to win as the majority of the voting populous and attendees were St. Louis folks, and I worked in Illinois. BUT nevertheless, I was incredibly honored and excited to be there surrounded by the best of the best- folks who loved their jobs and this industry that I loved. 

As I watched Shelli win Wedding Planner of the Year, among all the other winners, I thought to myself: gosh how amazing to win such an award; an award voted on by your peers. Not brides rating you on a website, because all of us had stellar reviews. To me, this was even bigger. I wonder what that would feel like. What I would say. Who I would thank. What I would wear. How I would do my hair.

Carla of Mane Attraction working on my fabulous updo!
I worked with Carla for years but got to know her on a more personal basis through ABC.
Not only is she sweet as can be but she does amazing hair and makes THE most spectacular toasted coconut cream pie in the world! 

And then I did. I began imagining the whole night for the next year. Getting nominated. Seeing my name and Signed Sealed Delivered Events on the ballot. Going to the dinner. Winning the award. Making a speech. Having a blast with all my wedding friends. It became one of my dreams for 2013. 

My parents, Stanimal and Lindy Lou
They have been my biggest supporters and I wouldn't have wanted to share this night with anyone else.

The nominees for Wedding Planner of the year met secretly prior to the Vendy's to make a video about planning which included a cake fight. One of my favorite memories of 2013.

And then it happened. Another dream came true.  And although I spent hours imagining this night, I was shocked as h.e.double hockey sticks when my name was called.  

Cried like a baby all the way up to the stage while hugging everyone...

And then saying a bad word into the mic. Whoops!

I can't thank this one and her family enough for being so supportive
and most of all for being a friend.
The Perfect Wedding Guide is the bomb.com!

And then I will be darn if it didn't happen again...

I won Rookie of the Year!
Having two awards is heavy business. I really just wanted to show you my shoes.
They were so cute and sparkly! :)

UNO

And my favorite pic!
Starry eyed surprise!
and ma teary eyed surprise!

AND DOS

The whole point of this little (not so little) blog post is that if you want something badly, imagine it. Imagine every detail. Live and act like it is already true. And eventually it will come true in some way or another. Things have a way of working out. Not that I just imagined winning and than BAM it happened. I put in 6 years in this industry and have loved every minute of it, have treated every couple and family with the most love and attention as possible, took extra time getting to know my vendors and building a team of folks that work hard to make weddings beautiful, seamless, and the best day ever for our clients. 

I love what I do and I am incredibly humbled and grateful for these awards.

Thank you to everyone in the industry- new friends, old friends and even those who aren't friends yet- rest assured we will be- for your love and support and your talent.

I am thrilled that I get to spend my life doing what I love with folks that feel the same way.

Magical and magnificent dreams do come true. 

XOXOXO